I am R. I have Bipolar II disorder, and I am a suicide survivor.
I used to write a lot about ‘happy’ things – food, travels, and other frivolous things about my life. Now, I write -a lot less- about my love-hate relationship with upswings, depression, anxiety and suicidal ideations. I hate hearing myself speak 75 percent of the time (even in written word), so I set out a year ago, after I survived my second overdose, to start seeking out other peoples’ words.
At the end of the day, I want to share other stories that I have collected through my network, mostly to help remind other people like myself out there that there are others sharing a pain, even if not all too similarly.
With maybe all too much idealism, I want to somehow one day create a ‘community’ where people can learn to share their stories and embrace what they have gone through as best they can despite all their difficulties. That is the pipe dream. The bigger pipe dream would be to talk through those stories, real-time, without anonymity, away from the shadows. I am not talking about a support group – and it’s too long to describe here.
Anyhow, until I figure that out, read my words, don’t read my words. It’s all good. Even if this gets ignored, thank you to those who, at the very least, tried to provide me with more perspective.